You can make a different choice
The victim position can be satisfying but it will not sustain you. This is
similar to the comfort blanket or reassuring dummy that we have as children
where we can’t go anywhere without it. It may seem cute, a flapping worn piece
of worn yarn trailing after a toddler but it does not quite fit the image of an
adult. When we have events happen to us that unsettles us or causes concern we
naturally want to escape. Go back to our infantile time. It’s a fight or flight.
Naturally we choose flight. We retreat rather than face the situation and
acknowledge that indeed we can make another choice; one which may be painful. It
may be grown up. but it is definitely the only viable choice.
Your response determines the outcomes
Not only do you have to grow up you also need to take responsibility by making
conscious decisions. Here comes the good news. The response you make can
determine the outcome of a situation. If you know that you can choose your
response, you know that actually there is something you can control. You, your
response, your decisions, your action, not things, not people not events just
you. Now that should make you feel relieved. The only thing you have to worry
about is YOU.